Secret vs Private

Is keeping a secret the same as being private?  My sister, Laura and I had an interesting  and very short discussion on the fact that she did not believe in keeping secrets in a family or with anyone.  I don’t look at my sometime need for privacy as a secret.  Based on this short conversation I understand now that Laura feels very strongly that a family or friend unit should share everything and there should be no secrets.  I would tend to agree, but I also believe in having my own thoughts and identity. 

How did such a topic come up?  Well actually it has come up before with my sisters and at the time I just shut down emotionally.   I did not feel the need at the time to defend myself and was not sure I could do so with any amount of conviction.  Today’s conversation was completely different.

So, back to the why of today.  Laura and Jack made a decision to have their beloved Golden Retriever, Jessie, put to sleep yesterday.  She injured her back beyond repair two months ago, and she was unable to walk or even stand.  Jessie was a fabulous dog and very well loved by all who knew her.  She was playful and loved the water.  She will be greatly missed by the Johnson and Quick family.

On the way to the airport today (I am headed back to Oregon), Laura asked if I had told Mom or Dad.  I said no, it was not my place to share such personal and heart wrenching news with our parents.  Her comment was that she doesn’t like secrets.  Well I never thought of Jessie’s passing as a secret, but I do respect Laura and Jack’s right to privacy, and I believe that they will share with friends and family when they are ready.

Our discussion made me very thankful for the concept of individualism.  I am my own person, as my sister is her own person, and as I am an individual person I reserve the right to privacy in all facets of my life.  I would say, that yes, I have secrets, but on the other hand I have this fabulous blog and often share too much.  Thankfully, it is up to every individual to govern what is a secret and what is private, and the concept of both will change depending on the individual.